Life Beyond Twilight - Try a Bite of This

Twenties Girl

Piper Grey — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 03:33:31 GMT

Fashion, flirting and fornicating! The three staple things a girl of today’s modern world embodies, right? But does that translate to the women of the 1920’s? You bet-cher Betty Boop it does! At least it does in Sophie Kinsella’s book, Twenties Girl. Sadie is a partying, fashion forward flapper who makes the most out of life but she has a few problems. She’s lost her necklace and, oh yeah, she’s sorta dead!

Sadie was born in the early 1900s and died a drooly old lady in a nursing home when she was a ripe old 105. However, her ghost is in her younger 23-year-old form and she’s haunting her 27-year-old great niece, Lara Leighton who turns out to be a serious mess. She’s just been dumped by the love of her life AND her business partner. She’s broke and going crazy because she thinks her Great Aunt Sadie’s ghost is haunting her. She can hear and see her plain as day going around screaming at strangers to get them to do her bidding… and its working! Of course, Lara is the only person who can see and communicate with Sadie so she badgers Lara into recovering her beautiful dragonfly necklace. Sadie is not all together sure why, but she knows that she cannot rest until its back in her possession. But where could it be? Or should we say “Who lifted it?”

We meet various lively and expertly developed cast members along the way to solving this mystery. A greedy, rich snake of an uncle, a ditzy self-centered flake of a cousin and boring yet bothersome parents are all suspects! Enter the classic preppy business man with penetrating eyes that has caught Sadie’s attention! Hello Daddy-O!! And she wants him. But the only way she can get him is through Lara. “Anyway you can get it” is what I always say! OWW! A reluctant albeit comical romance develops between Lara and this frowny American. Much to Sadie’s shagrin.

Eventually, Sadie and Lara start to unknowingly learn from one another and the impressions that they leave on the other are life (and death from Sadie’s point of view) altering. Lara uncovered the fact that Sadie’s life meant so much more to so many more lives than she could ever imagine. And Sadie helped Lara figure out the difference between going through the motions of a relationship and really living and loving another person by letting go of her inhibitions.

This was a fun and light story that I absolutely loved! The ending was a bit heavier but delivered a sweet and tender message of family and keeping yours close. I’m giving this book 4.5 outta 5 pumps. Minus .5 for the lack of steamy sex! Sheesh, can I catch a break with the no-sex books already??? But I took away a valuable lesson from Twenties Girl. I want to be just like Sadie when I am 105 years old…. minus the drooling of course!

Deadly Little Secret [7]

Sophie Rose — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 20:24:45 GMT

I think someone copied off of Stephenie Meyer’s paper! Deadly Little Secret by Laurie Stolarz should’ve been called Twilight: The Lame Edition. Wanna know why? The storyline is almost exactly the same as Meyer’s Twilight except Stolarz created the most boring and ludicrous characters to star in her book. Come along with me as we journey to Déjà vu town…

To begin, the main character, 16-year old Camelia almost gets hit by a car. And where does she almost get hit by a car? In the parking lot at her school! Some random hottie on a motorcycle comes to Camelia’s rescue by pushing her out of the way. So, after “Evel Knievel” saves Camelia from getting hit by yet another horrible teen driver, he speeds away on his bike without even telling her his name. All she remembers is a scar on his arm that is cool to the touch. Ooh… yawn.

So, who was the mysterious hero? He’s the new boy in town named Ben and he’s supposedly gorgeous. I could see that if you like uninteresting characters with freakish scars. He also has a secretive past that everyone at the school questions. The students hear rumors that suggest he killed his girlfriend and had to move to get away from all the drama surrounding her death. Even so, when Camelia recognizes him at school, she is eager to thank him for saving her life. But he claims that he wasn’t her hero. Really?? That’s unusual. Maybe he fell off his motorcycle and hit his head the day before and forgot! Oh, but it gets better…. Ben and Camelia are lab partners in CHEMISTRY! Ha-Ha! Are you reading this Stephenie?? Surely there are other classes in high school where students pair up and work together, right?!

Anyway, as time goes on, Camelia learns that she has a secret admirer of sorts. This character plays an active role in the book because there are chapters specifically devoted to his side of the story. This is a unique aspect for Stolarz’s book – and it at least breaks up the dull interactions between Camelia and her annoying friends, Kimmie and Wes. So, not only does Camelia have a very strange and seemingly dangerous boy toy to contend with, but she has a stalker who is frustrated by all of the attention she’s giving to Ben. However, Ben is hiding an even bigger secret from Camelia. Readers will likely consider this revelation unoriginal and quite similar to something Edward explains to Bella in Twilight.

Deadly Little Secret is a young adult book full of another author’s ideas. It has an unexciting storyline with underdeveloped and childish characters. Moreover, seasoned readers will immediately recognize who Camelia’s stalker is. This book gets 1 1/2 pumps from me. I’m taking away 1 pump for each of the three Twilight déjà vu moments mentioned above, and another half away for Ben only being somewhat attractive. Trust me Vixens, this book is not worthy of your precious time.

Witch & Wizard

Piper Grey — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 15:20:41 GMT

Wisty! Whit! New Order! Magic! Ahhh, Fire! Prison! Dead girlfriend! Escape! Look a puppy! A.D.D. anyone??? I seriously think that James Patterson and/or Gabrielle Charbonnet are card-carrying members of A.D.D. Anonymous because that’s what reading their sorcery-slash-dystopia novel, Witch & Wizard was like with its 300 pages and about 100-ish chapters! In it, a smart aleck-y 15 year old girl, Wisty Allgood, and her older brother, Whit, are fugitives of the New Order, a newly elected but suppressive political regime that is absolutely con-witch/wizardry. This administration completely changes the world while everyone is asleep one night. …seriously…

Wisty and Whit are unaware of their supernatural abilities until the New Order comes to arrest them for it and Wisty burst into flames. Neat trick, huh? They are eventually overcome and thrown into prison where they have time to explore their new abilities. It also becomes evident during this time that the leader of the New Order holds a personal vendetta against the Allgood family as a whole. Despite the efforts of their “Nurse Ratched” type guards, they escape with the help of Whit’s dead girlfriend (yes, I said dead…she’s a ghost). While attempting to find & save their parents, they encounter group of teenage revolutionaries who are surviving in a holocaust type world. They believe the bewitched duo to be mystical entities and also prophets who will use their power to restore harmony and overcome the New Order.

The cast of characters are potentially colorful but are not completely developed. Examples of the more robust players include the evil “The One Who Is The One” that leads the New Order who has a foreboding and all knowing persona. And then there is Byron, a former schoolmate who is eventually turned into a weasel for witnessing the powers of the siblings and threatening to nark them out. There is also Whit’s dead girlfriend’s ghost, Celia, who helps them escape prison where they are made to run through a hallway lined with hell hounds for their supper. Finally! A diet that works!

The super short, 3 – 4 page chapters and constant switching between Wisty’s and Whit’s perspectives depicted blinky-type thoughts that never really amount to anything substantial. It was like watching a hyper 8 year old bounce around Santa’s workshop. The end result is a lack of depth that keeps the reader from creating a clear picture of the settings. This did, however, allow for an action-packed read with few lulls in the storyline.

So, while this was a suspenseful and vigorous tale, my mature hottie side was left completely ignored and I felt like I had whiplash from the rapid fire micro-chapters switching between thoughts at lightning speed. I also feel that the authors were writing to a strictly middle school aged audience. I would seriously doubt that our fantastically sexy fans could be intellectually (or otherwise, OWW) stimulated by this venture! 3 pumps outta 5, says The Vixen That Reviews!

Dear John

Sophie Rose — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 14:48:48 GMT

What girl needs an excuse to read about a tough, sexy, and romantic Army man? I sure as hell don’t!! Bring it on, baby! In Dear John, Nicholas Sparks delivers a love story to readers (like me) who can’t seem to get enough of his epic fictitious relationships. However, in this particular novel, readers receive a unique glance into the life of John Tyree: the Army grunt and surprisingly tender man after my own heart!

The book begins in present time, as John is observing the one true love of his life, Savannah, from afar. Readers quickly begin to wonder why he is not scooping her up into his arms and whisking her away on horseback into the sunset. So what went wrong with John and Savannah? Why does John continue to love this woman even though he is not with her? Will he come marry me instead?! Oops… er, that last question may have just been something I was wondering! LOL But Sparks answers these questions and many more; and readers soon understand love is not as easy as it appears on the surface.

You see, their love story begins pre-9/11 while John is on leave visiting his reclusive coin-collecting father back home in North Carolina. John meets Savannah on the beach and is immediately captivated by her. So much so, he finds himself doing everything he can to impress her. One thing I truly enjoyed was how thoroughly Sparks described the male psyche. Every glance, every touch, every word was carefully calculated by John ensuring he wouldn’t offend Savannah. He was a perfect gentleman, AND THAT WAS THE PROBLEM!! Arg! I can appreciate the innocence of a new romance, but John was returning overseas and a guy needs a little lovin’ to keep him comin’ back to his woman. Am I right, ladies?!

Well needless to say, John goes back overseas (without getting any action!), but he and Savannah agree to write to each other all the time. This portion of the story began to drag for me because I was longing for more romance. However, after 9/11 occurs I found myself invested in the story, worrying over the impact that this huge event would have on John and Savannah’s relationship. With letters and occasional phone calls keeping their relationship together, I wondered if their love would overcome the hefty challenges of time and distance.

Dear John invites readers into the life of a young soldier who wants nothing more than to be with the woman he loves. Sparks won me over by giving me rare insight into the mind of a son, a boyfriend, a soldier, and a man. The raw emotions John has in the story permeated the pages and touched my heart. For these reasons, I give Dear John 4.5 out of 5 pumps. I am taking a half pump away from Sparks for failing to wow me with his abrupt ending that left me wanting nothing more than a John to call my own.

Percy Jackson and The Olympians [1]

Laney Belle — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 19:51:05 GMT

The Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, by Rick Roirdon is a totally fun and amazing read! It’s no wonder The Lightening Thief (first book in series) was so successful on the big screen! I’ll confess that these chronicles were intended for a younger audience, which was evident in the cheesy punch lines of a few of the jokes. However, the plot, action-packed battle scenes, and budding romance will definitely keep most adults enticed throughout the series. If you liked the Harry Potter books, or even Cirque De Freak, then you will definitely enjoy the adventures of Percy Jackson.

The story revolves around Greek mythology; creatively bringing ancient Gods and monsters to life in a modern day setting—Manhattan to be exact. Percy Jackson, a dyslexic and highly strung teenager, constantly finds himself in trouble and kicked out of every school he attends. As strange things start happening around him, he discovers that his dyslexia is actually caused by his brain being hardwired for Greek, and his hotheadedness is actually because, well, he’s a demi-god—the son of Poseidon! This discovery leads Percy to Camp Half-Blood, where he takes refuge and trains with other children of the Greek gods. The idea here is that Greek gods have affairs with mortals, and the resulting children are demi-gods. Unfortunately for the readers, there aren’t any details on this god-like hanky-panky! Pity!

Roirdon definitely has a knack for capturing the cynicism and blatant mockery that IS the American teenager. I found this aspect very humorous and quite nostalgic if I’m being honest. Roirdon cleverly weaves the tales of Medusa, the Cyclops, and the Hydra (among many others) into some extremely intense battle scenes. His descriptions of these beasts provide readers with incredible mental images, leaving almost nothing left to imagine. You’ll find this very useful if your knowledge of Greek mythology is a little rusty, like mine.

Aside from Percy, there are many unique and endearing characters that readers will enjoy getting to know. Annabeth, daughter of Athena, is smart, crafty, and strong! She is also the girl of Percy’s dreams, and would make a great role model for young women today. Tyson is an adorably stupid Cyclops with bravado and charm. Grover is a funny young Satyr (half goat, half human) who provides the comedic relief and is also Percy’s best friend. You will fall in love with these characters and witness their struggles with monsters, family, and love. It’s a ‘save the world’ kind of story with a promising romance mixed in.

Overall, I truly loved this series and was sad to see it end. I look forward to seeing more of Percy Jackson on the big screen though, as well as reading more of Roirdon’s work. I give Percy Jackson and the Olympians a 5 outta 5 Pumps, and would recommend this series to any Vixen looking for an extraordinary adventure filled with fantasy, fun and good ol’ fashion principles…well minus the whole affairs with Greek gods part! OOWWW!!!!